I've been thinking a lot this week about investment. Mainly about the investments I'm willing to make in myself. Investments are hard for me to make in myself. I'm quick to make investments of time and energy in others, and like all moms, I make sacrifices for the people in my family. And I want to do that. I want to be selfless. But in that quest to be selfless, I often find myself making sacrifices of my own health and the time that I need to take care of things that matter.
I've been focused on making a different type of investment this week. My good friend Lori is a fashion consultant, and has been here this week helping me find new clothes to wear for my Time Out for Women performances. And since I've lost weight since having L., I needed some more everyday clothes to wear as well. Even though I knew in my head I needed to update my wardrobe, even though I knew that doing so would help my confidence and would be a boost for everything in my everyday life, when it came down to actually making the investment and spending the money, it was really hard. It felt selfish.
Now, if my husband had needed new clothing for something, no problem! Or my kids? Definitely! But me? Ummm....
I still have to work on the balance between feeling selfless and selfish, but I think being willing to periodically make investments in myself is a great way to achieve that balance. I really feel like I'm taking more steps toward, as Julie says in the video, losing my carnal (or natural man) self and finding my authentic self.
And oddly, I'm finding that the new clothes that I feel great wearing (thanks, Lori!) has really been helping me in that journey. There's something about feeling good about the way I'm presenting myself to the world that makes it easier to balance taking care of my family and taking time to do the essential things that I need to take care of every day.