So, remember about a month ago when I performed in Logan? And I was nervous about it? Thank you for any kind thoughts and prayers you may have sent my way. Because the performance went well. In fact, the whole weekend was great.
It didn't magically turn out that way. It took some mental work on my part.
I was still pretty nervous when I arrived backstage. I did my sound check, the other presenters for the evening arrived and did their sound checks. My accompanist, Whitney, could tell I was nervous and was trying to help me.
I shouldn't have been nervous. I had prepared and practiced. I had been given a Priesthood blessing by my dad the night before. I had done everything I could do to be ready for the performance.
It was then that the reason for my nervousness hit me: I was making the performance about me.
I was nervous because I was worried about what people would think. About what they would say. About how they would react.
People ask me often if I get nervous when I perform. And the truth is, I typically don't. My mom taught me a very important lesson when I was young and she was scheduling performances for my sister and I at rest homes and nursing homes all over Utah County. The lesson? That the most important thing I can do as a singer is sing whenever I have the opportunity. And that when I sing, it's not about me and how great I sound or how well I sing. When I sing, the most important thing I can do is sing the best I can for the people that are there to hear me. Those performances in the rest homes were about service. And that is the most important thing we should do with our talents. Serve and try to make people happy. It's not about applause or glory. And though I have to remind myself of this lesson from time to time, it's the reason I don't get nervous when I sing. I'm going on stage to do the best I can to serve the people that are in the audience.
When I realized why I was nervous, I stopped in my tracks backstage and said to myself, "This is not about you. This performance is not about you. You are here to deliver the message you have prepared in the best way you can, and hope that it will be received. That's all you are here to do. So, quit worrying about yourself and do it." And the rest of the evening, I was walking around muttering, "This is not about you."
And when I walked on that stage, it wasn't about me. I remember being overwhelmed by the love that Heavenly Father had for those women in the audience, and I was there for them.
And the performance went well, and everything was great.
So, though I'm sick and struggling a bit with my voice as I head to Reno this weekend, I know from the experience I had in Logan - I have prepared and practiced and slept and done everything I can do to take care of my voice.
And my performance tomorrow night is about those women in Reno. Not about me. And I can't wait to be there and experience the weekend Heavenly Father has in store for them.
Because every post is better with pictures, here are a few from Logan:
Amazing TOFW presenter Mariama Kallon and I before the event on Friday night. I love this lady.
My friend Michelle - one of the USU besties. She managed to get a ticket that day and came to support me.
My stepmom, sister, nephew, and my mom's best friend from college and her friend, daughters and daughters-in-law. I love spending time with them, and to spend time with them at TOFW was just fantastic.